If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
