I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
