On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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