i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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