did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
