dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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