Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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