they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
