WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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