I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize