singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
