all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize