i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
