Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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