as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize