I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
