1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize