it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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