Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize