we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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