Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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