in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
