I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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