I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
