Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
