Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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