i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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