Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
