doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize