with your own penis?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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