She said her name was "party"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
