Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
