Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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