I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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