I hate your face
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
