Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
dude. I can hear the air.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
