I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
