so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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