I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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