I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
