Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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