I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
