I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
