I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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