break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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