3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
