I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You can't special order awesome
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you win again, gameday.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize
