He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
