I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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