he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
