Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
