Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
