Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
