Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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