Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize