I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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