You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
