he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Church boner. Awkwardddd
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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