Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
