I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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