I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
