Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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