Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
