Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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