I need help removing her.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
