so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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