i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I want to fling myself into the sun
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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