Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
