I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
