I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
How external is "for external use only"?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
my poor anus
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize